Dating in Japan As a Black Woman- A Date Nightmare

Today I want to talk about the worst date I had ever experienced in Japan.

How We Met

It was actually quite quickly. I would go to a popular foreigner bar in Tokyo with my friend. The name of the bar is called The Hub, and you will meet A LOT of characters there. When I would go before, strange men would often approach my friend and me. However, I usually didn't pay them any mind because I preferred not to date anyone from a bar. I should have stuck with this notion.

He seemed nice enough. He and his friends didn't really approach my friend or I, they were sitting next to us. We all started talking and laughing. He wasn't really my type, but I said what the hay when he asked me on a date. He wanted to go see a movie in a few days, and I agreed.

The Date

After a few days we decided to go have lunch, and to see a movie. We met or the date. It was pretty pleasant. We then decided to go have a few drinks. I was having a lot of fun and didn't want to go home. I texted Jane and she was also in Shinjuku, so I was lucky.
I should mention this is the night that I went to the Host club with Jane.

After we finished with the Host club, I was bored. It was too late for me to go home, due to the train, so Jane and I tried to figure out what to do next. I knew that my date was also still in Shinjuku with some of his friends. Therefore, we decided to go back to the bar with them. This is where the issue began...

The Drama

Jane has blonde hair and blue eyes. The perfect trait for Asian men, and boy oh boy, does Jane know it. I hadn't hung out with her for a while, so I forgot how she was... An attention wh*re. I know I sound bitter, but Jane has this way about her. She shows that she ADORES all attention on her at ALL times. And if it's not.... She'll change the subject to be about her once again. She must always try to steer the conversation back to herself.

There's a little bit more background that I have on Jane. I'll go into more details, but in a later post. So, we go to the bar with my date and his friends. We were drinking and playing games. It was okay. I noticed that my date's friend seemed to like Jane, I was happy about that. What I wasn't happy about was that my date ALSO seemed to like Jane. And Jane had absolutely no problem with flirting with him back.

Afterwards, we went out to eat, and then we went to Karaoke. At the best of times I hate karaoke, and this time....Whew Lord, I was fuming. Again, Jane has this way about her. She loves all the attention to be on her, so she began to sing in a "cute" little way that she does. She loves the kawaii culture even though she's older than me. She kept flirting with my date and his friends. I had enough and I left the karaoke room for about an hour.

I called one of my good friends and I cussed up a storm. I had to vent a little. I texted my other friend who knows Jane. My friend told me that she didn't know why I went out with Jane. Jane is KNOWN to do things like this, so my friend wasn't at all surprised.

The Night FINALLY Coming to Its Bitter End

I went back to the karaoke after Jane called and asked where I was. Thankfully we left soon after for the train. I never did tell Jane about how I felt that night, but I'm guessing she know. I didn't see her after that for about a year.

And the guy? He walked me to the gate for my train. I politely asked him why he thought it was okay to flirt with my friend. It WAS our first date, but I would assume that there should be a level of respect there. I didn’t try to flirt with his friends. He said he was just being polite and hospitable. So, I politely told him to never contact me again. He wasn't my type to begin with. I am happy that I was shown his true colors and true intentions early on. Not my type in the looks department, and a dirt bag, I think the f*ck not.

Good luck with dating in Japan. You'll need it... Sometimes.

XOXO